How I REALLY Feel.



If you feel the same way, you can get it on Amazon

Although, I hate his face.



My life as a prison guard: a Memoir

This is what the title of my memoir would be. Why you ask? Because my days and nights have led to restraints, bribes and reprimands.

This new found prison guard job started on February 24th, 2017, my daughter’s second birthday.

What this Blog is and isn’t.

We received a comment the other day from someone who was an angry Elf. The person started out by saying they rarely comment on anything but “just had to comment” on our blog saying something along the lines that we suck as a blogger and should quit our jobs. Haters gonna hate, am I right?

They also made the point to give us ten lengthy pointers on what a blog should be and blah blah all while stating that they are trying not to offend us and have a Merry Christmas.

I hate to say that this person wasted their Saturday night giving us pointers on how to write a blog. You see, we don’t want your pointers, we didn’t ask for pointers, pointers are actually the opposite of what this blog is about. To assume that this is our full-time job couldn’t be far from the truth. To assume that writing this blog IS a job is also a false statement.

This blog IS meant to be stupid, fun, sassy, goofy, real, opinionated, immature, random, interesting, weird, inappropriately awesome.

This blog IS NOT grammatically correct, smart, profitable, caring, PG-13, updated often and it is certainly not for anyone but us.

You see, this blog does not reflect who we are as people but where our minds go when we want to escape from working 40 plus hours a week, raising a family, juggling bills and worrying about when the next terrorist attack will happen. This blog doesn’t care about rules because it isn’t a job.

This blog IS a coloring book, and we choose to color outside the lines. If you like it, congratulations you are a weirdo, like us.

If you don’t, there is a lovely ‘x’ on the top right corner of your browser, click it at any time and save yourself the time in writing a novel of a comment, because you think your feedback and criticism needs to be heard and matters to us…sorry lady, it just doesn’t.






Blogging is Hard

I must say, keeping up with a blog is harder than keeping up with the Kardashian’s. For one, having a baby is a total time suck.  I love my baby and pay very close attention to her like a responsible human being, but man sometimes I forget to urinate that’s how consumed I am. Since our last post, I grew a human and Jennifer Aniston got married. Both are major events that took a little longer than we all hoped but hey it got done!

In other news, we have a new Kardashian on our hands… CAIT! While yes in the past we have totally ripped on Bruce for looking like a female gym teacher (no offense to female gym teachers). However, we are so happy for Cait and her new venture into womanhood. Granted Cait’s entrance does lack the certain monthly visit from the old Bitch “Flo” who I renamed “Cersei”. The way I see it, is that we all have to start somewhere and Cait Kardashian Jenner decided to begin womanhood after menopause. I see she learned something from Kris.

I know…we have been slacking.

Dear our readers I can count on one hand,

There comes a time in your life when things start to annoy you. For instance, everything on TV, Twitter, and Facebook so we decided to take a slight hiatus from writing and now we are back. A lot has happened since our last post in April, for one, I got knocked up and Miss Peach went to Aruba. Don’t worry, she came back.

A lot of material has been created since this time time-off, so we shall not bore you. Stay tuned as Miss Peach will write about her putrid Radio Shack experience and hatred for College students.

Chatty Awkward

Random Thoughts Thursday

Sometimes when I speak, it seems like I have more to say but I don’t; like my sentence is incomplete. When this happens, my husband will say “That’s your story?” and upon my confirmation, he will sarcastically say “good talk.” 

After thoughtful consideration, I have come to realize I start conversations in my head and finish them out loud. How inconsiderate is that to the person I am talking to? No wonder I get frustrated when people don’t understand what I am saying…I am the only one who knows the back story! I also mumble which isn’t good for anyone involved.

Here are some prime examples of random things I would say out of blue and more importantly out loud…

“Italy is really nice in the summer…so I hear”

“I figured out that thing from yesterday…”

“Pepperoni is a mystery to me…”

“I think i’m gonna have some rice…”

“This is a true story……(truueeee storayy)….. of seven strangers, picked to live in a house”

And my personal favorite…

“Can pregnant woman go swimming? I mean, would their babies need to hold their breath? What I am trying to say is, would water rush into the womb like the lower level of the Titanic?”

Every single response from those who have listened to my comments have been “That was random!” Therefore, I do declare and I truly do, that Thursday is now “Random Thoughts Thursday”… fuck TBT its RTT time bitchesss.