The Ladies Restroom: What the hell do you do in there?

It is no secret that the Ladies’s restroom has significantly longer lines than the men’s, but what exactly do ladies do in there to make the lines so unbelievably long? Well, after doing some careful research along with personal experiences, there are four things that I found:

  1. “Come to the bathroom with me?!”
    There is a truth to the saying that “Girls stick together” and that truth lies within the restroom. Mostly in social settings, girls seem to have this fear of going to the bathroom alone. Now before you yell at me and say “it could be dangerous, always stay together”#Mom. I get that, but here is what I don’t understand…Why do five girls have to share the same handicap stall? There is nothing that gets my bladder in more of a tizzy than waiting in line for hours, I see five girls come out of one stall. To make matters worse, every single time one of the girls will look at me cross-eyed and slur “sooorrrryyy hehehe”. #FML
  2. Squat Peeing Gone Wrong.
    Squat peeing is for girls who don’t want to sit on that yucky toilet seat. Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10 (unless peeing into a funnel) they end up peeing on  the seat! Newsflash Ladies! You aren’t supposed to pee standing up. Thanks to you, every single goddamn toilet seat has piss everywhere. This is a real problem for me as I have no choice but to attempt to pee squatting causing me to get pee all over myself. There can be some serious delays in the ladies room from this! #TideStick #TMI
  3. How Do I Look?
    Girls will be girls and like to look good for their men. They take up the sink area in every bathroom to look in the mirror fifty times to do their hair and reapply lipstick. In my opinion, what can girls possibly do with their hair to make them look any less of a hot mess? The best part is that they return to the dimly lit dance floor, where they end up grinding all night with a guy who hasn’t seen their face all night #CanIGetYourNumber?
  4. Twitter on The Shitter.
    More and more each day, I witness girls come out of the bathroom stalls on their phones, typing away. There are so many concerns I have with this epidemic but honestly ladies, the toilet is a sacred place. The piss pot is definitely not the place to retweet Ashton Kutcher while doing your business. There are times when you just need to not be connected, this is one of them #WashYourHands

Am I at fault for doing any of these in my lifetime? Of course! I am not perfect but I can honestly say, I changed and strictly do my business so others can alleviate themselves in a timely manner. This is really a plea for change within the female community, mainly because I can’t keep getting kicked out of bars for peeing in the men’s room anymore. So if you ever wondered what the hell we do in there, there it is!

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