Do You Have This in My Size?

Last week was my birthday and I turned 348 months, that is 29 in years. It probably took you a while to figure out my age. Well, now you know how I feel when a mother tells me her child is 20 months old. “So, what you are really saying is your child is almost 2” This is what I tell myself. Why is it so hard to just say your child is a year and a half or 2 years old?

Don’t get me started with pregnant women. “I am 12 weeks”… Listen Mama, you are 3 months! Just say 3 eff-ing months preggers!

Since this clearly angers me, the next time I go to a baby clothing store, I am going to pick out a cute dress. A dress I would wear that is a size 18 to 24 months. I will then ask the clothing store worker “Do you have this dress in my size? 348 to 355 months?

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