Sippin’ on Some Sizzurp

“I got bronchitis” says Sweet Brown, well boy do I know how she feels because I do too. Call me lucky, I now have a voice like Kathleen Turner aka Chandler Bing’s Transgender Dad on “Friends” and a hack of a cough like Walter White on “Breaking Bad”.

I am that person who goes to Urgent Care instead of her doctor, this is mainly because I think my doctor rather me die than take urgent appointments. I mean, why is it okay for my doctor to be closed on Thursdays? The thing is… I always end up getting sick on Thursdays, which is kind of ironic. Not like rain on your wedding day or a free ride when you already paid ironic, but its a damn inconvenience.

For this chest congestion, I tried:

  • Mucinex made me nauseous and think of the commercial where the fat mucous guys were having a party in my lungs. I was terrified.
  • Delsym cough syrup made me feel like a woman in her mid-forties who was having hot flashes and snapping at her children…NO WIRE HANGERS!
  • Then I got prescribed codeine cough syrup, aka purple drank to the hip hop community. Wowzers!

Can you tell I had a fun weekend experimenting? It was eye opening to say the least.

The Purple Drank
The hip hop community (according to Wikipedia), mixes this cough syrup with Sprite and drinks it to get high. I guess this is better than mixing Stoli Raz and Sprite, which I am going to have to disagree with… fo sho. After I tried this “medicine” I was worried I would get high after reading all about it. This Chatty don’t like to feel out of control, which is why Chatty don’t do drugs. #D.A.R.E

I finally decided to try this purple drank and determined those hip hopsters are right, it’s one helluva drug when used for its sole purpose (of course). No coughing and I slept for the first time in days. The con is that, it did make me very confused and illiterate, however I am not sure if that is from the bleach in my blonde.

You may be confused, did Chatty like getting high? Is she addicted to the purple drank? Will she sip on sizzurp instead of her beloved Cape Coddah? As if!

If I learned anything from “Saved By The Bell” and Jesse Spano, its that drugs are bad especially caffeine pills so don’t do them.

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