How to Lose a Guy on Tinder in 10 seconds

For those who do not know what Tinder is.

#SimpleExplanation : “Tinder finds out who likes you nearby and connects you if you’re both interested.”

In my recent singledom, I thought it would be quite comical to download this app to see what I have been “missing”. I figured if nothing else, I can just fine tune my “communication skills”. The below are a series of screenshots of my interactions with the opposite sex via “T”. Think of these as a guide on how to subtly make a guy question “Is this she hot enough to deal with the crazy that follows?”. This relates to really any form of communication and is not limited to the the “T”.

Right Out of the Gate

Be a straight shooter. As my pal @ChattyAwkward says “Let your freak flag fly”. Establish that there should be no trust from the first exchange. You don’t want to meet this “T” bone. If you start off weird, they totally won’t want to meet you in person. OK, this is not completely true (see below rule). #somelikeitfreaky

Smiling-Sam

Be a Broken Record of Strange

Some “T” bone’s will get over the initial creepy/random response you make. They like your freak flag and want to chit chat more. #Doit…Lure them in with your smarts or interest in a particular unique area; then BAM say something completely stupid.

play-it-again-sam

The Reverse Cat Fish

This is the curve ball – You need to play this one special, on occasion. When a certain kind of “T” bone messages you about your looks just let him know “Hey, man this isn’t me”. He will be left scratching both heads.

catfish-chris

Smooth Criminal

If you are like me, you love a nice hipster boy, however, everything you say will always be just a bit uncool for them. THEREFORE, LIE. Tell them you live a life of subtle crime. You’re not a cold blooded killer, but you know, you may be selling stolen vintage car parts to some Mexican drug lords nephew.

Jeffery

Conclusion: It’s not easy to get these beasts off your tale. Once they see a photo of you it’s done.

My friend refers to it as the rape app.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s