For those who do not know what Tinder is.
#SimpleExplanation : “Tinder finds out who likes you nearby and connects you if you’re both interested.”
In my recent singledom, I thought it would be quite comical to download this app to see what I have been “missing”. I figured if nothing else, I can just fine tune my “communication skills”. The below are a series of screenshots of my interactions with the opposite sex via “T”. Think of these as a guide on how to subtly make a guy question “Is this she hot enough to deal with the crazy that follows?”. This relates to really any form of communication and is not limited to the the “T”.
Right Out of the Gate
Be a straight shooter. As my pal @ChattyAwkward says “Let your freak flag fly”. Establish that there should be no trust from the first exchange. You don’t want to meet this “T” bone. If you start off weird, they totally won’t want to meet you in person. OK, this is not completely true (see below rule). #somelikeitfreaky
Be a Broken Record of Strange
Some “T” bone’s will get over the initial creepy/random response you make. They like your freak flag and want to chit chat more. #Doit…Lure them in with your smarts or interest in a particular unique area; then BAM say something completely stupid.
The Reverse Cat Fish
This is the curve ball – You need to play this one special, on occasion. When a certain kind of “T” bone messages you about your looks just let him know “Hey, man this isn’t me”. He will be left scratching both heads.
If you are like me, you love a nice hipster boy, however, everything you say will always be just a bit uncool for them. THEREFORE, LIE. Tell them you live a life of subtle crime. You’re not a cold blooded killer, but you know, you may be selling stolen vintage car parts to some Mexican drug lords nephew.
Conclusion: It’s not easy to get these beasts off your tale. Once they see a photo of you it’s done.
My friend refers to it as the rape app.