While waiting for an antibiotic to be filled at CVS, I decided to kill some time and roam the store. Typically when one goes to CVS it’s for something particular and never window shopping. Well, let me show you what you are missing out on; what I have come to find as the greatest items to purchase in CVS:
I have no idea what Fun Loom is, but from what I can see, its a bracelet making kit. Fun.
DOLLS & TAMPONS
What this says to me is “Sorry about your period, but here’s a doll if you need a hug or to yell at someone”. I think what should be displayed here are Snickers, Midol and Tissues.
THE GREATEST ITEM IN THE STORE
The idea for this blog post was sparked by the sight of this gem. For only $2.49, you can get a classy cane and honestly, how great would it be if your name was Rose? I would rock the shit outta this cane at Monday night Bingo and Saturday night Waltz class.
*Update: It has been brought to my attention the cane is not $2.49, the cane tips are. If that is the case, then why are the cane tip prices on the cane hook? Fail, CVS.
SANTA!!! OH MY GOD!!! No, he’s not really at CVS but if you want to annoy the shit out of everyone on Christmas day, purchase these jingling shoes.
WEDDINGS WILL BE MUCH MORE FUN.
I friggin hate heels, especially the pain I endure when I am made to wear them at weddings. Most of the time, the pain comes from being barefoot because someone always steps on my foot when I am twerking on the dance floor. Problem, solved.
MEMORABILIA OF THE WORLD’S GREATEST CRIMINAL
Who wouldn’t want an authentic pocket watch inspired by Jesse James himself? Who wouldn’t want a pocket watch in general?
BIRTHDAY GIFTS FOR EVERYONE
You could buy an Amazon gift card and an IHOP gift card at the same place…mind blown.
A BUTT CUSHION
Why do chairs have to be so hard on the tush? Hey, I get it. Great invention.
THE CREEPIEST DOLL YOU CAN BUY FOR $10.00
“Hold my hand and I will WALK with you!”…that is what this doll promises. If I ever saw a doll walk at me, I would scream and attack it. Not fun. Creepy.
These are probably the best training diapers… ever. This girl on the bag is like “Hey Biotch, I am representing all tomboy’s and I ain’t effing around. I play sports and there ain’t no leakage that will slow me down, word”
SPEAKING OF LEAKAGE…
I almost bought this for myself. No, I am not 80 years of age but I “Pee-a-little” at times when running, laughing, or doing anything that involves motion. It’s a patch, so I decided not try it because it would interfere with my nicotine, birth control and girl scout patches. No, I am not serious but could you imagine if you were trying to quit smoking, avoid reproduction AND prevent peeing your pants… when does the patching end?
Next time someone has a baby or gets a new job, I am buying this.
The worlds biggest stuffed animal dog, originally $39.99 but now only $19.99. Amazeballs.
I prefer the spiked kind but I do feel the large canned Iced Tea’s are hilarious when I see someone drink it. It is almost like they are miniature people who are actually drinking a normal sized canned Iced Tea.
These are the greatest things I have ever seen in CVS. I used to think it was the Extra Bucks that I loved about this store, but not now!