The Diary “Dairy” Origins:
My quirky and overly friendly compadre reintroduced me to the diary keeping world. We call it “Dairy” because in my first entry, @Misss_Peach spelled it incorrectly, therefore we make fun of her for this.
How The Diary Works:
You must carry the diary around everywhere you go. That means:
- To work
- A dimly lit dive bar
- The beach. Where the sand will remain in the crease, making rusty sounds when opening
- The potty. We don’t need to know what you are doing at that very moment, but you never know when ideas will spark. For instance, Chatty Caitlin got this blog idea while peeing #truth. Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands. We don’t condone spreading germs like the flu or malaria through the journal, that’s just nasty
Example: Thoughts on Honey Boo Boo, life questions such as “Do you eat Mac N Cheese with a fork or Spoon?” #Fork, strange things you hear, see, smell, and just about anything that crosses that scattered brain of yours.
How the Diary Does Not Work: The diary will not contain emotional entries or the reveal of deep dark secrets. Unless those deep dark secrets involve having an attraction to a cartoon character named Eric from The Little Mermaid. This diary will never hold anything but happy times.
The only time those tear ducts of yours will well up, is when you realize that you are not the only ridiculous individual in the world. You (just like us) say and think horrible things that should only remain in your brain.
Where ever your travels take you, carry the diary and write what you are doing. Be sure to also include any absurd comments from strangers (eavesdropping is the number one source for solid gold material). It is important to give the journal to others, so they can also write entries. It’s a compilation of absolute nonsense.
Here is an example of a time where my curiosity peaked and I asked a nurse (dead ass serious):
@Misss_Peach – “Do you take your own blood?”
Miss Lady Nurse: ”Uh….no, I never even thought of it”
@Misss_Peach – “That’s unfortunate…BUT could you do if you need too?”
My thought process was “Do nurses draw their own blood? Do hair dressers do their own hair? Do construction workers build their own houses? COULD gynecologists give their own paps, breast exams and deliver their own babies?” These are real questions, people!
Let’s just say I could see the relief on this ladies face when I walked out. That is what I like to a call, a chatty awkward…It’s a good thing she wasn’t a gynecologist.