Sometimes you hear that couples say “Good Night” followed by a kiss before going to sleep. If that were true, wouldn’t that be lovely? Even if you do say “Good Night”… if you think about it, its not the last thing you say before you go to sleep. You are usually bothered by something, especially if it prevents you from sleeping OR wakes you up at night. Here is a list of what couples say to each other before they actually fall asleep for the night:
“Ugh, YOU Smell”
“Can you move over? You are so close to me… you have SO much room over there!” In reference to a woman who has to sleep on his side of the bed.
“Get your cold ass feet away from me”
“Quit HOGGING the blankets”
“Hey…..HEY! You’re snoring”
“Do you need water? You keep coughing!”
“Do you have the Tums? I shouldn’t have eaten that Pizza”
“Can you shut the T.V. off?”
“WHY IS IT SO COLD IN HERE!?”
Followed by…”WHY IS THE HEAT UP!?”
“You’re turn” …in reference to a crying baby
“Stop licking me” …in reference to your dog that sleeps in your bed…or creepy significant other who licks you in your sleep. #gross
“SHUT…UP!” in reference to your neighbor’s dog who wont stop barking at 2 A.M
“What are you saying, I can’t understand you?” In reference to your significant other talking in their sleep and you not realizing it until their eyes are close.
“Can you please put the phone down? Facebook stalking can wait until the morning”
Even if you are single, and shared a bed with a sister/brother, friend or even a stranger you just met (Hey, Tinder happens) these are the things I have heard from others and personally experienced.
I wonder how old the separate beds thing starts at?…just saying.